This series is based on how our family of 3 ½ made it through the first year of grad school living on less than $13,000 without any federal aid for housing, medical care, or food. I tried a lot of things and failed at a lot of things, but also found success and confidence through that time. I learned that sheer guts can see you through.
I like to call this ‘The Somethin Outta Nothin story’ as it is the main reason this blog exists. Our families’ experiences derived from the hubster’s grad school years drove me to blogging, so I could help others in situations similar to ours. This stage of our lives was a very difficult and rewarding one as I learned how rare and important creativity is in this world.
Part of what led to our success was my insatiable desire to learn new skills and my love of teaching others as well. The whole point of this blog is be an extension of that experience; to catch the vision of seeing ourselves as a work in progress, completely beautiful and deserving of grace as we are still learning and transforming into the butterflies we strive to be.
The Calm Before the Storm
I still remember this as a time of great excitement in our lives. The hubster and I had been married for a few years, he was using his Music Dance Theater degree in the evenings and making good progress on his tech career during the day.
I thoroughly enjoyed being a stay at home mother to our first born and a rock awesome wife to the hubster (if I don’t say it who will?). Everything was going well, I could feel something was around the bend but I was thoroughly satisfied with where we were.
The First Few Drops
Then the hubster came to me and shared his desire to pursue a graduate degree. While I was excited for him, I was a little worried as to how I could support him.
The program he was looking at insisted he sign a ‘no work’ contract the first year. The University wanted to make sure that its students didn’t allow work (paid or not) to interfere with the time intensive studies the program required.
At the time we had a toddler version of Sunny and quite a bit of debt left over from our undergraduate years. If we were accepted our financial situation would suddenly turn from treading water to drowning. It would mean a trade of $37,000 a year with benefits for $13,000 a year with student insurance (the University required we purchase insurance). Yeah count the difference, that’s almost a third!
A Steady Stream
Well of course the University decided they did want my husband (I mean who wouldn’t!?), so we had to figure out how to make this work. My first thought was to find a swing shift job-thus I’d be able to bring in an income and more importantly I’d still be home with our daughter during the day.
Within a week of job hunting however we discovered I was pregnant with child number two! A late night job was out of the cards and boy did my stress level sky rocket!
We were back to square one-less than square one really- as the student maternity insurance doubles the premiums. We saw our living amount diminish to less than $1,000 a month, we’d lose our current job in 7 weeks, and had no way to pay for both food and shelter at the end of either semester.
One spot of relief was summer internships, as our program had a history of 100% job placement for those wanting an internship. So at least summer was taken care of financially. On the other hand the end of fall semester [and Christmas] just loomed in the not too distant future.
So I started to comb our budget for places to cut. Fortunately our rent was incredibly low for our area, and our lifestyle was already pretty frugal. But that left very little to cut out of the budget–especially as Sunny was starting to out grow her current size of clothes. So I suggested that we look into getting medicare and food stamps.
As we discussed it I just felt sick (not pregnancy sick either). I knew it wasn’t what the Lord intended for us, but I persisted in going over it any way. The hubster also received a strong impression that federal aid wasn’t the way we should go.
Finding Our Umbrella
So he pointed out we should first rely on the Lord and see how it goes: we have a healthy network with 2 sets of parents that could help when needed, if that failed we could go to our local church which has an excellent program to help the needy.
I agreed it felt better (as in the sick feeling left) to go that route than to take funds from the government. Especially when I knew there were others who probably needed the help a lot more than we did.
*This is not meant to be a judgement on anyone who may have had to use government assistance. I’m glad that we have a safety net in place for those in need in this country–we just felt it wasn’t right for us in this particular situation.
Digging Our Heels in-Mud and All
So we had our minds set with a goal and started to dig in. In the next few weeks the hubster met with his mentor, thus learning he was expected to make two out of state trips. There were two conferences he needed to attend as they are considered crucial for gaining employment at the end of the program. Yep you guessed it, there went another $500 a semester.
After applying this new information to our budget where we took out: rent, average utilities cost, gas, our minimum debt payment, and the cost of doctor visits we were looking at $75 a month to spend on food, clothing, and anything ‘extra’.
Yeah I was pretty much on my way to heart attack city by then. Luckily before I really started to go into chronic hysterics the Lord had already provided a way for us, I just didn’t realize it yet…
Next week the story continues with part 2, The First Hurdle.
Update: You can now click through here to read the rest of this series published posts.